"Who are Baptists?" (January, 2003)

Baptists:  Who are They?

In the midst of competing claims and religious pluralism, inquiring minds want to know.  Let’s take a few calls as we try to answer this question.

Georgia, you’re on the air …

“Man, you’ve gotta check out a Black Baptist church.  Now they know how to worship.  Those White Baptists, they’re the frozen chosen!  They’d be afraid if a revival came to town!"

Montana, you’re on the air …

“Aren’t Baptists kinda like Catholics?”

Utah, you’re on the air …

“I have always been taught that Baptists are a cult!”

Illinois, you’re on the air.

“I remember when some Baptists came to the inner city.  ‘Evangelists,’ they called themselves.  Coming to help us out.  But they didn’t want to hear what we had to say, and they didn’t seem to care what we thought.  They just wanted us to repeat some magical prayer formula, and that would make things all right.  But I’ll tell you something: if you say that prayer formula, they won’t bother you anymore.  It’s almost like it scares them off or something.”

We have a caller from California, and you’re on the air …

“Like, Baptists are the ones who are always fighting, right?”

Texas, you’re on the air …

“I’m still trying to figure out just who Baptists are, but there sure are a lot of ‘em in Texas!”

OK, let’s take the caller from Virginia.  Hello, you’re on the air …

“Hello, son, this is Jerry Falwell, but you can call me Uncle Jerry.  I am the answer to your question, son.  Some others claim to be Baptists, but everyone to the right of me is extremist and everyone on my left is a flaming liberal.  People of all other religions and persuasions are pure evil, and God hates all who don’t think as I do.  That’s all you need to know, son.”

Florida, you’re on the air …

“Hypocrites, that’s what they are.  They said they were going to boycott Disney, but I’ve never met a Baptist who doesn’t like the place!”

Arkansas, you’re on the air …

“Only Landmarkers are Baptists!  All those other so-called Baptists are popish heathens.  And those SBC leaders, well, they’re just turning back to their popish roots!”

Rhode Island, you’re on the air …

“I’ve always been taught about Roger Williams and how he was for religious liberty for all people and the separating of Church and State.  But it seems like Baptists today think that only Baptists should have the rights and privileges of religious freedom.  Why is this?”

Our next caller is from Louisville, Kentucky.  You’re on the air …

“The identification and classification of Baptists is an important question.  There are a lot of individuals who utilize the name ‘Baptist,’ but the inherent truth is that only certain ones are actually chosen.  How do we know who is chosen?  Well, we’re working on that, trying to narrow it down very precisely, as it is a question of utmost importance.  I don’t have time to elaborate here, but I’ll be glad to mail you a copy of some of the creeds, er, I mean, documents, we have constructed to help answer the question.”

New York, you’re on the air …

“Baptists believe the Bible, or at least that’s what they all say.  But they don’t seem to be able to agree on what it means!”

Wisconsin, you’re on the air …

“Isn’t Bill Clinton a Baptist?”

Las Vegas, Nevada, you’re on the air …

“Baptists kinda stick out around here.  They don’t gamble, drink, dance or shoot pool, and for some reason they seem to stay to themselves a lot.  But they sure do like to eat!  Ever since they started moving in here around here, the buffet prices have been going up!”

OK, folks, we have a call all the way from Liberia …

“I used to wonder about that question myself.  Now I don’t really know much about Jimmy Carter’s political views, and I’ve never heard him use a lot of theological terms.  I have heard him share his faith in the newspapers and on the TV, and I appreciate that, although it is true that anyone can talk about their faith.  But you know, I’ve always thought that Jimmy Carter acted the way Baptists are supposed to act.  I can’t help but thinking that if all Baptists lived out their faith like he did, well, the world sure would be able to see and experience the love of Jesus, the Son of God who died for the sins of the world that we might put our faith in Him and have eternal life.”

Well, folks, that’s all the time we have.  I guess we haven’t really found an answer to our question today.  Those Baptists much be a confused bunch of folk!

Until next time …