After nine years, my wife and I recently moved from Montana back to the South. I enjoyed my time in Montana, and we do look forward to spending many future summers in Big Sky Country. However, both of us grew up in the South, and it is nice to be back “home.”

While living in Montana, several of my students as well as other Montana friends visited the South as summer missionaries, seminary students, on vacation or on business trips. It was always interesting to hear what they had to say about the South. One comment oft-repeated was, “I can’t believe how many Baptist churches are down there!” One friend actually confided to me, “I don’t think they really need that many Baptist churches down South.”

In light of such comments, as well as our return to what my wife calls “The Promised Land,” I wish to present my “Top 10 Reasons Why Baptists Conquered the American South.”

Number 10: The need for more baptisms. Our Baptist ancestors in America started in Rhode Island in the 1600s, but eventually realized that cutting a hole in the river’s ice to baptize converts in the winter months did not particularly encourage folks to become Baptists. The year-around warm weather in the South allowed later Baptists to baptize virtually year-around.

Number 9: The abundance of pulpits. Years ago any old stump could serve as an outdoor pulpit for Baptist preachers, and there were plenty of trees waiting to be cut down as Baptists surveyed the South in the late 18^th century.

Number 8: No fox-hunting. In an earlier day, Baptists in England got side-tracked on the evils of fox-hunting, which contributed to a great decline in their ranks. In the absence of fox-hunting, Baptists in the South were able to grow unhindered.

Number 7: Good whiskey and fine tobacco. Baptists have not always been opposed to alcohol. At one time Baptist preachers were not uncommonly paid in whiskey, and tobacco was appreciated. Southern moonshine was good stuff, it’s been said.

Number 6: Year-around golfing. Just imagine the concessions that Baptists could get if all Baptist preachers boycotted golf courses!

Number 5: The Southern language. King James English was the language of the South. Baptists felt right at home.

Number 4: Abundant sermon illustrations. Not the least of which was the summer weather, which was as hot as you-know-what!

Number 3: Revivals were the “only game in town.” Before the days of the circus and other modern entertainments, Baptist revivals in the South attracted whole communities, although not all came to hear the preaching.

Number 2: Southern cooking. When Baptists tasted Southern cooking, they were hooked. As word of the fine vittles spread north, it hastened the Baptist migration down South. And even though the revival era is long past, Baptists’ love of Southern cooking remains unabated.

Number 1: Shady real-estate agents. In the mid-1700s some pretty appealing real-estate ads started showing up in Northern newspapers: CHEAP FIXER-UPPER LAND!!! Hundreds of thousands of acres of cheap land available. A penny an acre, or will take two good horses in exchange for 10,000 acres. Land is undeveloped, but has endless possibilities, such as golf courses, outdoor pulpits, sermon illustrations, year-around baptisms and much more. Only a few small downsides, including swamps, gnats, fire ants, cockroaches, chiggers, and intolerable summer weather. Stake your claim today, and create your own paradise!