Recent travels took me to the college campus where a high school classmate, whom I had not seen in decades, is on faculty. Arriving about an hour ahead of schedule, I was so pleased to find him in his office.

Quickly we jumped into recalling the old days, sharing information about family and friends, and expressing amazement over the population growth that has reshaped the area we once called home. We grew up in communities on opposite ends of the county and did not connect until high school.

At one point in our delightful conversation, I mentioned that a great sense of loss for me resulted from the deep and tragic fracturing of my home church several years ago by an upstart, manipulative fundamentalist pastor. Before moving on to likely dismantle other good places, he wrecked havoc on the church family that loved, baptized, nurtured and ordained me.

Numerous families — including my parents — left after decades (and in some cases lifetimes) of commitment and service due to his constant condemnation and control. He did more than divide a congregation; he caused irreparable damage to a once close-knit community.

His abusive leadership did not lead to a split resulting in a new congregation — the usual Baptist way. Instead, longtime members simply left for the neighboring United Methodist church or various congregations in the area.

The current pastor is a kind and caring person who has reached out to me and to others, I’m sure. However, the damage done to that congregation and community is permanent.

This became most obvious to me when my parents died. Not having their funerals in the only church I had known throughout my childhood and youth seemed impossible, yet was true. And there has been no place to return as an adult and reconnect with the wonderful souls who invested so much in me.

At the end of my sad tale, my former classmate shook his head and then repeated an eerily similar story of the church in which he was raised. His grandparents had been among the founding families. When his parents finally left the negative church environment a few years ago, his father said the deep pain must be similar to experiencing a divorce.

We were not talking about a bad pastor-church match or some level of incompetence or personality clashes. We were talking about churches that innocently called a pastor who, with lesser skills, tried to mimic some “successful” pastoral hero whose unbending authoritative leadership style was used to build a personality-focused mega-church.

Failure to do so always leaves the church in shambles — and leaves the pastor to move on with the self-assurance that the congregation simple failed to follow his inspired ways.

The pain my former classmate and I shared — and more so, our families — is not as isolated as we wish. Some of you reading these words have experienced the same loss or know others who have done so. In some cases, it is happening now.

A couple of good friends and keen Baptist observers have made comments that come to mind.

Church historian Buddy Shurden has said: “The most important job in Baptist life today is serving on a church’s pastor search committee.”

Texas Baptist leader David Currie has said: “Every church is just one pastor away from fundamentalism.”

Both are most certainly right. Be careful. Be very, very careful.